My blog has been up for what, two weeks, and the bloody spammers have found me.
When I initially set up the blog, I read that spammers could clog up one’s site with “comments” on posts. I even thought I had set up a nifty software plugin to deal with the issue prophylactically, should they ever find me. But apparently I forgot to activate it (until just now).
So for the last few days I have been filtering some pretty dumb crap on ole killingitblog. I’ve been marking such crap as spam one comment at a time. Not very technologically advanced and about as much fun and effective as swatting flies one at a time with a month-old ham on the counter and the back door wide open.
Well here’s a little bit of advice for all you spammers out there who thought it was a good idea to post comments on my website, which in case you hadn’t noticed, is about breast cancer and shit:
(1) If you tell me that my blog is “one of the best you have ever seen” and that you will “subscribe to it if I will try your pills” it sounds a little disingenuous, dontcha think? What are you, eight?
(2) I am not interested in buying Viagra, whether you ask me in English or in Flemish, whether you spell it with a capital or a lowercase “v.” I do not have a penis, and if I did it would not have erectile dysfunction. Rather, it would be a sizeable, virile, killing it machine. Naturally.
(3) Despite the fact that numerous surgeries are in my future, none of these surgeries involves a sex change or otherwise getting a penis. So I do not need any Viagra. Are you getting this, you daft prick?
(4) I do not need to “get my girlfriend back” so you can stop posting dumb comments on my site as well, thanks very much. If you read anything I have written you might clue into the fact that my female issues, although quite plentiful, don’t involve a long-lost lesbian love. Or getting her back. Although that might spice up my “journey” and increase readership.
Now LOOK: if you have a question to ask me, even if it is just a “yo how r u” or “where u at,” or you have some feedback on an issue (“you swear too much”) or a correction to offer (“your science is all wrong”), please do post a comment on my site. Comments are nifty and I so enjoy sifting through them when they are legit.
But you spammers beware, or I’ll go all honey badger on your ass.
That’s all I have to say about that.
em, weird to say, but your blog is an excellent read! i love your writing. as for the other stuff… whenever you get a chance, send me your actual email address when you’re up to it. talk soon, -ada
GREAT to hear from you. xx Keep reading my friend.
Jesus guys listen to her… if she goes ‘all honey badger’ on you, you’re doomed.
Trust me on this one.
🙂
I would like to sell you a honey badger bedazzler for the low, low, low, low price. Best price in town. Also have h
Need honey badger Viagra? I have the best price in town! Also, best selection of Vag Toupees! Hurry, sale ends Monday!!!
( KEEP ON KILLING IT, girl!!!)
Honey badger don’t need viagra. He a mean lean killing machine. But even if he were impotent he really wouldn’t give a shit. ha ha ha ha ha
lovin the blog pretty HB. i just subscribed so you know…but PLEASE don’t sell my email for cash or treats. i HATE spam.
How about some land in the Everglades? No?